Sources have reported that American archaeologist, Adam Cain, has discovered the lost Garden of Eden within the compost piles of the Lâches des Mamelons nudist colony in Monaco.
Sawdust
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President seeks to emulate game’s never-ending supply of goods Along with freaking out over gay marriage and contraception, right-wing Republicans have expressed outrage over Obama’s…
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IssuesMagazineSawdustUtopia
Obama Appoints Bob Iger as Czar of American Idealism Resulting in Disney Invasion
by Catherine Fisher March 28, 2012After being particularly blown away by Beauty and the Beast in 3-D, President Obama appointed Disney CEO Bob Iger as Czar of American Idealism in order to maximize national happiness and make America a better place.
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IssuesMagazineSawdustUtopia
New Indonesian Sweat Shop Tactic Boosts Morale
by Katherine Talay March 28, 2012Dian Sieto, manager of the largest Nike sweatshop in northern Indonesia, recently announced to his workers his new plan to boost company morale: playing Smash Mouth’s 90’s hit “All Star.”
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CharityIssuesSawdust
Police Suspicious of Local Blood Drive’s “Cookies”
by KC Weston February 29, 2012The recent outbreak of edible substance abuse in the New Hastings Community has had the Police Department looking for any possible avenues into its source. The epidemic first came into light when boxes and boxes of what seemed like Samoas and Thinmints intoxicated members of a second grade class.
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Pissed girl scout calls for cookie embargo
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I’m Ned, 24, single, white male. I’m a totally chill, fit and an all around good guy who’s just looking for a dude that I can pound Keystones with, watch Shawshank and generally bro out.
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Vipera University’s Anaconda Adoption Club started with honorable intentions. Unlike more mainstream organizations that symbolically adopt manatees or parts of the rainforest, the students in the Anaconda Adoption Club focused on what they believe to be a much “cooler” animal.
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CharityIssuesMagazineSawdust
Buzzsaw Asks Why: Chipotle Is Such a Big Deal?
by Catherine Fisher February 29, 2012Ithaca’s latest chain restaurant, Chipotle, has opened, and for the past week, it seems as though everyone with a working digestive system has lined up out the door as if they’ve never had a burrito in their life.
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Homeless now less fortunate