by Malti Jones

Ithaca College Didn’t Adequately Consider Off-Campus Students During Snowtorious B.I.G.
It was what I had been waiting for: an Intercom Alert e-mail with the subject line “Notice to Campus Community Concerning Severe Weather.” It had been snowing hard for over 24 hours and I just knew that classes would be forced to cancel. But I guess [...]

 
By Marc Phillips
Loretta Jackson is not like most NJ Turnpike tollbooth operators. This 52-year-old woman’s genuine, perky attitude is contagious. Visit lane No. 3 at the Raritan Toll Plaza, and you will be greeted with her pearly whites. Many passers-by feel the immediate burst of happiness. But what is Jackson’s secret?
“I could be unemployed!” Jackson [...]

NASA Officials Bummed, Say It Would Have Been “Sick Nasty To See Shit on Mars” in Person
By Liz Kloczkowski
NASA officials announced yesterday the cancellation of their plans to send a shuttle to Mars following the U.S. government’s refusal to offer funding for the project. The government simply said NASA isn’t quite ready to make the leap.
NASA [...]

By Mariana Garces
In 2012, some people believe the world will come to an end as the Mayans predicted ages ago in their elaborate calendars. In the time we have left, we need to reflect and see where we went wrong as a civilization: Namely, why aren’t we flying around in jetpacks?
Trends like hybrid cars and [...]

By Chris Giblin

The Tompkins County chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, which has recently decided to go green and support government lobbyist groups in favor of combating global warming, pooled their funds to buy a brand-new Smartcar Thursday.
Boasting 55 miles per gallon, the tiny, two-person vehicle is a sleek black color and sports several white [...]

By Chris Giblin
On Dec. 1, the college announced through an Intercom message that it would get “a notable alumnus or Ithaca College faculty member who has a deep connection to the institution” to speak at Commencement on May 23. The note went on to mention how “the alumni/faculty speaker will replace the celebrity speaker which [...]

By Bryant Francis
Local police responded to a 911 call on West Street yesterday in response to reports of excessive drunkenness. The caller reported that members of the fraternity Omega Phi Beta appeared to have consumed large quantities of alcohol and were blacking out, moaning deliriously and uttering “weird, kind of freaky chants.”
Officers responding to the [...]

By Jackie Keating
Last Friday, Craig and Emily Johnson were enjoying a night out together when they received a distressed call from Jenny Smith, the 16-year-old they hired to babysit their son for the evening.
“She asked me if there was a secret room anywhere in the house where Andy [our 6-year-old son] likes to play,” Craig [...]

By Noah Burd
Excitement in Veracruz, Mexico, as George Hertz of the archaeological team the Red Jaguars, confirmed the existence of a long-rumored hidden temple.
Since 1993, six archaeological teams have mounted expeditions to seek the temple. Red Jaguars aside, the Blue Barracudas, the Green Monkeys, the Orange Iguanas, the Purple Parrots and the Silver Snakes were [...]