Now I’m not saying that you should go around hacking people to death in the woods… but as far as aerobic exertion goes, I can tell you which activity it is more difficult to wear a mask during. Wear a fitbit while you grab your morning coffee, and again when you take the life of an innocent, the numbers don’t lie.
Consider the luxury most of us have when picking a mask. We get to wear flower prints, bright colors, even messages for all to see. We can coordinate our outfits and use masks as yet another outlet for self-expression.
I can tell you a group of people who don’t get that same luxury.
Don’t you think Mike Meyers wants to don some glitter every once in a while, just to shake things up? Of course he does, but he knows that ambiance is half the battle, and he’s too dedicated to the craft to indulge in unprofessional whims.
So who is really the victim here?
Regular masks are so low-maintenance as well! All you have to do is put them on around others, take them off when at a safe distance, and wash them every couple of weeks. Do you know how hard it is to clean blood stains off a hockey mask? You probably don’t even care about all the work that goes into the strategic staining that gives a mask that weathered grunge look while staying functional. You really should learn to be more appreciative of all the work that goes into your ritual sacrifice.
True, your glasses may get fogged up when you wear them with your mask and that stinks. Though I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that you’ve never had to deal with blood coming through your front eye spaces when stalking menacingly through the woods. Talk about low visibility!
And why go through the struggle of running from a killer and trying to stay alive if you are going to turn around and risk it all for some fries? Quit wasting your breath about the firearms you need to “protect yourself” if you’re going to keep breathing on everyone and vilify a small square of cloth while facing a foe far more deadly than any masked man.
So before you go online and complain about the troubles of wearing masks, consider how lucky you’ve got it. And avoid cabins in the woods, as a rule.
Your editor and face-covering fanatic,