Step Right Up
I was walking through the Campus Center today during lunchtime. Wow, was that a mistake. I saw the front of the line start at Campus Center dining and you won’t believe where it ended.
I continued walking through the pub and saw that line was in a sort of mix-up. I didn’t know if the line was towards the South Hill Grill to get that crunchy food or the line to get crappy food. Well, after 5,000 years of trying to figure it out, I finally found the rest of the line. I continued walking and saw that the line ended at the elevator in the pub.
Yeah, that’s about another hour or two to get food.
We all know that those lines at lunch at the Campus Center are long. And I do mean LONG. I see you tired of standing in those long lines while walking back up to the front of the line. I see you rushing to eat your food, as I look through big heavy glass doors of the Campus Center.
So how does this sound? Free Lemonade. I know you’re enjoying the sound of that, so don’t even act sour about it. I heard that all the dining hall services, including the Campus Center, are giving away Free Lemonde. Can you believe it? The campus is actually giving away something other than technology, pizza, and little cupcakes that you can get 40 of anyway. So, why wait in an hour-long line for food that you don’t know is going to be properly cooked, when you can get free lemonade! So let’s go and get out of line. Get that sour look off your face and go get that damn lemonade. Come on, and don’t be shy and go get your lemonade.
On second thought, maybe you should wait for the crappy food. I mean did you really think that you were going to get free lemonade? FREE LEMONADE? Do you know this college? Who was going to pay for that? Cornell? It surely wasn’t going to be Ithaca, with the money that they don’t have. I mean, did you really think that was going to happen? Ithaca giving away free lemonade without making you pay for it? Ha, that’s a good one. Besides, even IF Ithaca was giving out free lemonades, can you imagine those lines? They would be longer than the one you’re currently standing in. So continue waiting for your crappy food that you probably won’t eat anyway. Hey, why the sour face again? Did I get your hopes up?
Imani Turner-Wells is a first-year film, photography & visual art major who once waited in line at the DMV for 3 months before realizing it was closed down. You can reach them at firstname.lastname@example.org.