First of all, I’m using a lowercase “g” because god has done nothing to deserve the uppercase letter. Some people are very insistent that god is great, and we’re all supposed to love them. Not only do I not love god, I don’t even like them.
So basically, god’s whole claim to fame is that they made the universe and humans and everything. Okay, I guess. The universe is pretty cool from a human’s perspective. But how do we know god even did a good job? We have no frame of reference. Maybe our universe is the one god threw together at the last minute, and it’s actually a pile of garbage compared to some of the other universes out there. The possibility that I’m missing out on a much cooler universe is mildly infuriating to me.
What’s legitimately infuriating is that god just expects everyone to like and obey them all the time. God’s ideal vision was to just have a bunch of humans “in their image” wandering around naked in the Garden of Eden with very little self-awareness. Then, when humans ate from the Tree of Knowledge, god got all pissed and was like, “I’m kicking you out of my garden. You guys are trash. Humans are trash.” Alright, weirdo. Maybe you shouldn’t have put your important trees in the middle of a public garden if you didn’t want people snacking on them.
Also, I guess Heaven is just super bright all the time. Is there no day/night cycle? Whatever, god, enjoy your fucked up sleep schedule.
Your editor in Hell,