Double-dipper declared local hero
This past Friday night, a college student astounded partygoers when she approached the chips and salsa. After taking a bite out of her chip, and having a significant piece left, Lisa Thomas decided to dive right back into that salsa. Everyone around her was dumbfounded; Peter Donnelly dropped his drink after witnessing this bold move.
“I just couldn’t believe it,” he gushed, clearly still exhilarated from the incident. “It’s not very often you meet a girl who just doesn’t give a damn what people think. She could’ve been ripped to shreds by everyone at that party for double-dipping … but she did it anyway.” Donnelly stared off into the distance for a while before adding: “I think I’m in love.”
Many of the other attendees had a similar reaction to Donnelly, commending Thomas rather than condemning her. Jackson McCarthy isn’t concerned about germs in general, let alone the few that are the result of double-dipping.
“I eat food off the floor all the time — I’m a big believer in the 10 minute rule. So one girl double-dipping won’t give me any germs I haven’t gotten already.” McCarthy also shared he often missed class due to chronic stomach aches, but doesn’t believe these are related to his eating habits.
Chad Manning, the host of the party, agreed with McCarthy when it comes to concern about germs. He explained that he always makes out with random girls at these gatherings, which is a much germier activity than eating compromised salsa.
“I never know where these girls’ tongues have been, so why should I worry about a double-dipper,” he said. “Not to mention we make out in the darkest corner we can find. Who knows what’s back there?” Manning paused, looking at his disgusting house in the light of day. “Maybe I should clean up a little,” he added.
Thomas herself was shocked to find out all this fuss was from her brief stop at the snack table.
“I only ate a few chips,” she said. “I didn’t even realize what I had done, and now everyone is making me out to be a hero or something.”
Thomas shared that she always double-dips, though it never was noticed until now.
“I hate sharing food, so when I go to people’s houses and there’s chips and dip, I usually take the whole thing and sneak off into a corner,” Thomas said. “But I was trying to stay in sight so my friend could find me.”
Though this happened last Friday, everyone who was at the party is still talking about it. A psychology professor, Dr. Annabel Snyder, heard the story around campus and decided to weigh in.
“What makes this so fascinating is that Lisa went against the societal norm and did what all of us have the natural urge to do,” Dr. Snyder said. “Of course everyone wants to double-dip deep down, but we all fight the urge and stuff that disappointingly dry tortilla chip into our mouths because we are scared — too scared of being cast out of society like a leper, all for wanting some more salsa on our remaining chip fragment.” Dr. Snyder added that Thomas truly is an inspiration.
“I guess I’ll start double-dipping at every party I go to now!” Thomas said, laughing. “Who knows, maybe next time I’ll take a bite out of a carrot and leave the other half on the tray.”
Rachel Mucha is a junior journalism major who would never let anyone stick their chip in her dip. You can email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.