White liberal-arts student solves race relation problems on college campus and beyond
In a masterful flurry of unnecessary verbosity and self righteous indignation, the white liberal arts student has struck yet another crucial blow against inequality in America.
“I didn’t even know that I was being oppressed,” says college junior tamir morales, “if it wasn’t for the ingenious social critique of that white liberal arts student I would have simply kept moving, unable to verbalize or even recognize the systematic oppression that I was facing on a daily basis.”
This is just one instance in a long line of triumphs that the white liberal arts student has made in his ongoing battle against systematic oppression. Just last week he was seen in a starbucks, sipping a caramel macchiato while making a masterful critique of how the commodification of labour has led to a deep alienation without spirits. “It’s like a veil was just lifted from my eyes, you know,” said one starbucks worker “If it wasn’t for white liberal arts student, I would have had no idea how shitty my job is.” The worker continued that she was excited to start reading the wikipedia page on Karl Marx that was so eloquently quoted by the white liberal arts student. Buzzsaw magazine obtained an interview with this modern paragon of social justice.
* * *
Buzzsaw: So how was it that you found the strength and courage to take up the fight against inequality.
White liberal arts student: You know I was like, just doing so research in my intro to journalism class, and then it just hit me you know, I was like whoa, racism is totally common in our society and so is like just you know injustice.
White liberal arts student: Yeah and then I was like that should probably stop. And then I was like, I should probably like do something, you know to like stop racism.
Buzzsaw: Fascinating, so what are your current plans in your ongoing battle against inequality.
White liberal arts student: Well honestly, I’m a little tired, I was thinking of like, taking a break because the final season of entourage just came out on netflix, but afterwards I wanna go talk to Tom Rochon, cause I heard that he’s been like really racist, and I wanna tell him to, like, stop it y’know.
* * *
And just like that, another white liberal arts student saves the day. His accomplishments include: needlessly explaining the merits composting, misquoting Judith Butler, and privilege. We may not live in a post-racial society, but thanks to one man, one very privileged man, we may be on the cusp of removing race once and for all. Because that’s the point, right? Right?
Matthew Nitzberg is a sophomore sociology major who knows the real authority on race relations rests in the GOP. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.