By Gabriella Jorio
You will fall in love
with a boy who is wild and chases the moon in the thug streets of Milan
with a group of friends with shaved heads and purses filled with their favorite quick fix
who holds a plastic bag of cocaine in front of you and it dances above your nose and
the summer as you know it tastes of
ice-cold beer and cigarettes on his tongue and
you want him to be better
but you are also afraid that being better will make him normal
and being ordinary will be your biggest fear.
He tells you he loves you, he always will
as he gets high with the junkies in La Romana
in the back of an abuela’s house
as she makes arroz con habichuelas
because growing boys have got to eat, even
when they are being eaten away.
Again with a green-eyed charmer who tells you you’re special
and the words roll off his tongue, so melodic
and your insides shiver
and you believe that this time it is true I am special
but he can only call you his girlfriend when he’s drunk,
too many rum and cokes and he’s dreaming.
But you have always thought
passion can only be found in unfulfilled love
so you will chase the broken ones
and you will be happy
Even when he tells you that he’s Jewish and you can’t meet his family
but you introduce him to your father anyway.
You call him in August because you think about him everyday
but when you’re back at school, he doesn’t want to talk to you.
You will think
Shit, I have gained such clarity.
And now you are lost in the silence
That used to be fiery nights
But you accept that even relationships that
Seem so good end with time
And you just want time.