Infamous rappers running successful antique store
Recently we all turned on our televisions and heard the news: “Tonight on CBS, we reveal a shocking truth about the music industry! Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur are alive and well. News of the two men still being alive came about when an eastern antique shop, which they won, was visited by fans of the rappers. Now that their secret is out, what will the men do? Will they continue with their widely successful store or return to the rap game?”
Needless to say, we were all outraged. Whether we loved or hated the men and the music they made, we were repelled by the idea of being lied to for so many years. So, naturally after the story made national headlines, the infamous rappers were bombarded with frenzied fans, some begging them to create more music, some picking fights with them about faking their deaths, and others just wanting to shop for antiques in peace.
When asked about how they reconciled, Tupac said, “After we found out that each other were still alive, we met up for a cup of tea and hashed things out”. Pac said the stress of running a store overflowing with seas of screaming people became to much for the men, and they were forced to close down the store. Despite trying multiple times to once again escape from the public eye, Biggie and Tupac were followed everywhere they went.
Eventually, the men stopped leaving their house, but when they did so, they received non-stop letters from fans, music producers and other singers both criticizing their past choices and begging them to return to music. After a few months of this, they felt as though their only way to be left alone was to make one final album together. They reached out to an eager old friend, Dr. Dre, who happily accepted the offer to supervise production on the album.
Although Dre was hoping he could be a part of the process, Biggie and Tupac were against the idea. They insisted on being left alone to record their “masterpiece,” as they were calling it publicly, in solitude. After working on their collaboration album for only two months, it was ready. When the album was released, stores sold out in hours, and iTunes crashed due to too many people trying to buy the album at once. The record broke all former sales records within hours. But nobody knew before buying the album that Biggie and Tupac’s musical interests had changed.
Fans across the nation were shocked to listen to the collaboration, a mixture of old school hip hop and outlaw country.. The hashtag #BiggieAndTupacFailed is still trending on social media. Biggie and Tupac have since been ostracized in the musical community and plan on returning to their small shop in Delaware.
When confronted, Biggie explained, “Running an antique shop can be boring, so me and Pac talked a lot, and we really bonded over our love of country music. Guys like Johnny Cash? Those are the real gangsters.” When reached for a comment by myself and other news reporters, Dr. Dre was quoted as saying, “I thought something was weird when they requested to have cowboy hats for the cover photo.”
Christina DiLuzio is a freshman business administration major who is burning all her Biggie and Pac records. You can email her at email@example.com.