1. Does your cat sleep on your computer and completely ignore the expensive bed you bought for him? Refusing a new place to sleep is a sign that your cat is afraid of change.
2. Is your cat constantly hiding in tight, dark spaces? Watch out, your cat is probably avoiding all social contact with others. This could be a sign that your cat has severe social anxiety.
3. If your cat stares at you for long stretches of time, beware, he is not noticing how nice you look in those new boots. Excessive staring is a sign that your cat is having an existential crisis.
4. Is your cat eating your plants instead of its food? A loss of appetite is a sign that your cat has body issues or low self-esteem.
5. Do you sometimes notice your cat is nowhere to be seen for long stretches of time? Perhaps you think he is just “doing cat things.” Your cat could be playing poker with the neighborhood dogs. Long absences could be a sign that your cat is socializing with the wrong sort and going through a rebellious phase. Watch out for catnip use.
6. Does your cat lose interest in things quickly and sleep all day long? Ask your vet about cat depression.
7. Does your cat like to climb? Have you seen your cat hopping from mantelpiece to mantelpiece, or sitting nicely atop a shelf? Don’t be fooled, this is a clear sign your cat is afraid of commitment.
Watch out for these clear signs your cat could be becoming reclusive and antisocial. Contact your local vet if your cat shows any of these signs.
Christine Dube is a freshman English major who looks forward to becoming a crazy cat lady. You can reach her at email@example.com.