As I entered Friends Hall for my first class this year, I realized something about the layout was strange. Every single desk was scattered and squeezed into the corners in a failed attempt at some sort of drunken semicircle. We all tripped on each other’s bags trying to sit down, only to have the chairs roll away. The odd shape did not allow any sort of order to the way they were arranged.
Not only are the new desks in Friends cumbersome and oddly scattered about, but they also have a feature that allows the desk to change sides. Did we really need to buy all new desks to accommodate both lefties and righties? Furthermore, why are there two cupholders? Is it supposed to be such a challenge to get into your desk that you work up a sweat and need to hydrate? If so, where’s my Gatorade? Maybe these desks are actually some sort of futuristic racing device, prepared to move from the classroom to the racetrack of the next Olympic sport: the 400-meter desk relay.
My favorite feature has to be the constant swiveling. Not only is it distracting, it hinders my in-class napping. Sometimes I want to lean over to take a nap, but the desk is simply too unstable and it’s impossible to find a comfortable position. What, am I expected to stay awake? Even if you do find a good position, you might run the risk of waking up to find the Jetson’s zooming by the window on the latest version of the desks—the hovercraft edition.
Where the hell did Ithaca find these things? There are no desks like this anywhere on campus or anywhere else in the world. But, hey, maybe someday they’ll show up in museums as the prototype of the future of transportation… or as a piece of crappy modern art.