Buzzsaw Sports Guy: A satirical look at sports
A furious Kevin Garnett tossed his crepe aside in disgust, shattered his plate against the floor, got up and started screaming at the waitress who had just given him the wrong food at a Denver-area IHOP yesterday morning.
After a scuffle that lasted about a full minute, Garnett’s teammates were able to hold him back in his livid state, mostly thanks to Shaquille O’Neal and Glen Davis finally getting up from eating their food to engage Garnett physically. It is believed that no one was hurt in the incident, although doctors are currently checking out Rajon Rondo’s sternum, as Garnett initially head butted him there.
Garnett, starting power forward for the Celtics, had reportedly received crepes with blueberry filling in them when he had specifically asked for strawberry filling. The 5”9’ Nate Robinson was the first to notice Garnett’s fury, but he was tossed aside like a rag doll when he tried to hold Garnett back. A majority of the team proceeded to get up from their booths to attempt to stop him as he screamed loudly and profanely while advancing on the waitress. It was at this moment that Rondo endured the brunt of one of Garnett’s several head butts.
The waitress, who was making her way through her first day of work and was rendered crying on the floor by Garnett’s yelling, was still too panic-stricken and frightened to answer any questions about the incident. Even after possibly getting injured by Garnett, however, Rondo came to his teammate’s defense, saying that this was just a bad day for the star player.
“You know KG, he’s an animal, and the tiger just got out of the cage today,” he said. “But also, I know better than just about anyone that he’d never hit a woman. He’s not that kind of guy. He might scream and berate a woman until she breaks down and cries hysterically, like he did today, but he’d never hit one.”
Garnett was still seething and unavailable for comment at press time, but many speculate that the incident came due to his frustration over the Celtics 89-75 loss to the Denver Nuggets last Thursday, in which Garnett was angered by a sub par effort from the team as a whole against a Western Conference contender.
Celtics management admitted that they likely wouldn’t reprimand Garnett in any way, saying they realized that “we knew this was a part of what we signed up for prior to the 2008 season when we picked him up.” The NBA is expected to lobby some sort of fine or suspension against him soon, but specific details won’t be arranged until they look up how they’ve dealt with punishments for restaurant-related misbehavior in the past.
“Overall, not a bad trip to IHOP,” Shaquille O’Neal said of the incident. “Good pancakes and the bacon was extra crispy, just the way I like it.”