Buzzsaw Sports Guy here. Don’t wanna waste too much of your time, lots of great sports on TV right now. Also don’t forget, SportsCenter is always best the third time through. In other words, you really have no time to be reading so much about sports, putting forth cognitive effort when you could be zoning out in front of the TV watching Mel Kiper make more bold draft predictions (I don’t know why his analysis is always so angry, but I love it just like any other real sports fan). Come to think of it, you must be crazy to be reading anything at all right now. We modern sports guys rarely read, watching ESPN and listening to sports radio is just faster, easier and way less horribly boring (I personally haven’t read a book since my English teacher made us read Of Mice and Men in 9th grade. I barely got through it. No sports or sex or anything in it).
At any rate, as boring as print is, Buzzsaw Sports Guy just isn’t any good with audio or film, so bear with me. I promise none of these stories will be too long, and they’ll only be on topics you don’t know about yet. That’s right: all new news, and if I can’t uncover anything new, I’ll just make shit up. That’s how dedicated I am to this journalism shit. I might be checking in personally upon occasion but I make no guarantees, I’ve got lots of sports to watch. Which reminds me: some college somewhere is playing some other college in some sport on one of the TV channels, I think. Excuse me while I go watch that, enjoy the sports!